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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24352639">last night, every night</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/esperanzacruz'>esperanzacruz (orphan_account)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>And there are feelings, Episode Addition, Expanding on I Am Legends, F/M, I Am Legends Smut Scene, I am Legends spoilers, John just always has condoms, Spoilers S05E13 I Am Legends, Teambuilding, The famous 4 hours smut thing, This Is Just A Lot Of Smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:55:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,589</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24352639</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/esperanzacruz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Zari's attraction to one another finally comes to a head during a screaming match. They go missing for 4 hours. This is their story. OR the smut scene from I Am Legends.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>John Constantine/Zari Tarazi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>134</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>last night, every night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I made a playlist for this! Please listen as you read, you can find it on <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/26K2IWRtmQUGZ1AcX9Kb92?si=f0OwiVWoQc2W7yy8_xzupQ">Spotify</a>. Beta'd and Brit Picked by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooWeirdToLive/pseuds/TooWeirdToLive">TooWeirdToLive</a>! </p><p>This was a request I got a lot on Tumblr. And I know it has taken me like a FULL week to write this, but I hope this is everything you guys wanted. I tried! Please, enjoy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zari is <em> angry </em>. So angry she can’t think straight. </p><p>She wants to scream at John until one or both of them says something they’ll regret. Or maybe until, he cowers in front of her. But John Constantine is not a man that cowers from a fight. He gives as good as he gets, dousing her rage with gasoline. </p><p>“Do you want me to go? Because I’ll go. And I will <em> never </em> come back!” John shouts. </p><p>If Zari was less pissed off and more self-aware, she would probably worry about the rest of the team hearing them shout at each other like this. It’s not the first time they’ve argued, obviously, but this is the first time it’s ever gotten this heated. </p><p>“Good!” Zari screams at him, her body edging ever-closer in spite of her words. “Great!” She squares her shoulders, holding her head up high as she levels her gaze at him, her next words spat like poison in her mouth, “<em>Leave </em>. I wouldn’t want to be with you if you were the last man on Earth!” </p><p>There’s a split second where something akin to hurt passes in John’s gaze, but it doesn’t linger.</p><p>“Well,<em>good</em>!” He shouts, “I wouldn’t want to be with you if you were the last woman—”</p><p>Zari screams in frustration, letting her emotions get the better of her. It’s been two days since she last slept, weeks since she’s been able to get more than a few hours without nightmares of Behrad, and <em> John </em> . <b> <em>John.</em> </b></p><p>She grabs his face and kisses him, raking her fingernails through the stubble on his cheeks. </p><p>John grunts in surprise, his hand coming up to grip her arm. He’s tense and rigid against her. </p><p>Zari pulls away, her eyes searching his face. </p><p>He looks stunned, surprised, relieved? </p><p>Her stomach twists, her brain already a hundred steps ahead, chastising her for what she’s done. The melancholy, or “doom and gloom” as he had so eloquently put it earlier, seeps back in and her heart hammers in her chest. </p><p>Then, John smiles. </p><p>Every thought in Zari’s brain ceases when he surges forward, one hand around her waist, the other pressed to her back. He pulls her into him with such ferocity it knocks the wind out of her lungs. His mouth is on hers again, their bodies pressed flush together. </p><p>Zari grips his face, raking her fingers through his hair. She sucks his bottom lip into her mouth, runs her tongue over his teeth. It’s like she’s <em> starving </em> for him. </p><p>She wonders—and, if she were being honest, not even for the first time—if she’s been starved for him ever since their first kiss. Zari would be remiss, after all, if she didn’t notice the way John’s eyes had shone under the theater lights as she drew him in, the exact same way she is now. Her hands on either side of his face, their mouths meeting.</p><p>He draws her close against him, his hands moving down her back to grip her hips, walking her backwards toward the couch. </p><p>Zari kicks over a table, sending bottles all over the floor and nearly falling in the process. She grips the front of his coat, and John catches her, both of them laughing breathlessly into the kiss. </p><p>“You okay?” John asks, but Zari ignores him, pulling his tie loose and letting it fall to the floor at his feet. </p><p>John stares down at it in silence for a moment before looking back up at her, lips parted. </p><p>“Yeah?” he asks. </p><p>“Yeah,” Zari replies, grabbing his coat and pulling him back into a searing kiss. Her hands are a flurry of motion, undoing the buttons on his shirt. </p><p>The entire mood of the kiss changes. He’s more urgent, pressing hot, open mouthed kisses to her throat while he undoes the buttons on her blazer, tugging it off in one swift motion to reveal her cream colored blouse beneath. </p><p>“You’ve got too many damn layers on,” John grumbles, hastily undoing the buttons of her blouse. </p><p>“Not my fault England is so <em> cold</em>,” Zari shoots back, unfastening his trousers to push them and his underwear down over his hips while simultaneously trying to kick off her knee high boots. </p><p>She growls in frustration when they refuse to budge and John quickly kneels in front of her, undoing the zip on the side and pulling them free, tossing them across the room. They hit the wall with a <em> thunk </em> and she glares at him. </p><p>“I like those boots,” she hisses.</p><p>“I don’t care,” John replies. </p><p>Zari rolls her eyes, shoving him backwards onto the couch roughly. He lands with a soft “<em>oof </em>” and grins up at her. She hastily pulls off her pants, underwear, and socks, tossing them all aside in the mess of clothing they’ve left on the floor. </p><p>There are still so many layers between them, but she doesn’t bother with the rest of her clothing. She slides into his lap, straddling his thighs, and kisses him again. </p><p>“Hold on a tick there, luv,” John says, pulling away from her to fish an entire sleeve of condoms out of his jacket pocket. </p><p>Zari gives him an incredulous look. “Do you carry those around with you everywhere?” she asks.</p><p>John shakes his head in amusement. “Yeah, don’t you?” he queries sarcastically, tearing one of the condoms open and leaning back a little from her to roll it down over his cock. </p><p>“<em>No</em>,” Zari answers.</p><p>“Well lucky for us I had these then,” John replies, smug. </p><p>Zari narrows her eyes at him, opening her mouth to speak, but John silences her by resuming their kiss.</p><p>He buries his fingers in her hair, pulling it loose from the braid she’d plaited it in. He tugs on it hard, pulling her head back so he can sink his teeth into her throat. He pushes his hands beneath the fabric of her blouse, cupping her shoulders while he kisses down her chest.</p><p>She sighs softly, letting her blouse fall down her back and off onto the floor in front of the couch. She reaches down between them to grip John’s cock in her hand, earning her a light groan of appreciation. He’s already so hard, and really, she shouldn’t be surprised. He probably gets off on misery. </p><p>Zari sinks down on his cock slowly, watching John’s face as she does. He tilts his head back, lips parting, his eyes fluttering closed as she takes him in. She leans forward, peppering kisses along his jaw and down his throat, grazing her teeth over his adam’s apple. </p><p>John swallows, his hands coming up to grip her hips as she begins to move against him. </p><p>Zari buries her hands beneath the fabric of his shirt, digging her fingernails into his shoulders. She sets a punishingly quick pace, and she can tell, by the ever increasing pressure of his hands on her hips, that he’s not going to last nearly as long as she is. </p><p>When John moves his hand between her legs, teasing her clit with his thumb she sinks her teeth into his shoulder to keep from crying out. </p><p>She doesn’t know if the team back in the pub can hear them, but they probably know <em> something </em> is up. Because one minute they were shouting at each other at the top of their lungs and the next, total silence. </p><p>That could mean one of two things: either they killed each other, or <em> this </em>. And really, between them it could’ve gone either way. </p><p>He comes first, pressing his face hard into her chest to muffle his moans in her skin. She can feel him pulse inside of her and she sighs, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and holding him against her. She strokes her fingers through his hair, stilling her hips. </p><p>John breathes heavily against her, his breath coming in short pants. He’s shivering and jerking against her and he stays pressed against her until he can get his breathing under control. </p><p>When he finally looks back up at her, Zari drops her hands from his hair, snaking her fingers down between her legs so she can touch herself. She wants him to see her do it so he knows that she didn’t finish. It gives her a little thrill of pleasure when he looks surprised for a moment, she wants to make him feel inadequate.</p><p>He grabs her wrists and stills her hand and she arches an eyebrow at him in question. John smirks, gripping her hips and moving her from his lap and onto her back on the couch. </p><p>“John, what—”</p><p>John spreads her legs open, burying his face between her thighs. He doesn’t tease, he gets straight to the point, sucking her clit into his mouth and laving it with his tongue. </p><p>Zari arches up with a soft gasp, burying her fingers in John’s hair, tugging on his roots and pushing his face against her. She grinds her hips into his mouth.  </p><p>“There, right there,” she gasps, pulling on his hair harder as she reaches up to tease her nipple through the lacy fabric of her bra. “Yes, yes, yes, <em> John </em>.” She bucks against his mouth, pinching and rolling her nipple between her thumb and forefinger. </p><p>Zari covers her mouth with her hand when she comes, her body taut and trembling. She’s pulling on John’s hair so hard, she’s probably going to pull it out, but she doesn’t care. </p><p>John makes a soft noise, burying his face in her thigh. The stubble of his beard scratches against her skin and she sighs, reluctantly releasing his hair. She goes boneless beneath him, maneuvering her legs so she can close them and roll onto her side. Zari presses her face into the crook of her elbow, panting hard. </p><p>When John stands up to leave, clothes rustling, she fully doesn’t expect him to come back. He got what he wanted after all. She did too. Their transaction is over. </p><p>What she doesn’t expect is for him to lay his coat over her and press a kiss to her hair. </p><p>She turns her head and cracks one of her eyes open, peering at him from beneath the collar of his trench coat. He looks more docile than she’s ever seen him. His gaze is soft and borderline amorous. It makes her heart beat a little faster in her chest, her skin flushing beneath his gaze.</p><p>Against her better judgement, Zari reaches for him, her hand circling his wrist. She tugs on his arm in a silent, pleading gesture. <em> Stay </em>. </p>
<hr/><p>Nate downs his second beer of the night, staring straight ahead at nothing while John and Zari literally scream at each other in the back room of the pub. He’s been trying to pretend there’s nothing going on between them, but it keeps getting harder and harder to ignore. </p><p>It didn’t escape him how every time Zari’s stormed off tonight, John followed her. He was even the first of them to follow her into the back room of the pub. In fact, they’ve been invading each other’s space for awhile. </p><p>He knows this Zari is different from the one he lost. He just didn’t know how different until he caught the looks she and John share when they think no one else is watching. And it’s fine, he doesn’t have a monopoly on Zari, he’s not some sort of creep who thinks she owes him something because they were in love from a previous timeline. </p><p>Anything can change when you fuck with time. He knows that better than anyone. Doesn’t make it hurt any less, though. </p><p>The shouting in the back room reaches a fever pitch when Zari roars in frustration, cutting John off mid-sentence. Everyone around the table exchanges worried glances. </p><p>There’s a loud crash followed by more annoyed bickering. He can’t hear what they’re saying anymore, the distance muffling their words, but it’s obvious they’re talking. </p><p>There’s a thud like something being thrown against the wall and another heated exchange of words. Then, the room goes eerily silent. </p><p>“Numbers on Zari and John trying to kill each other unless one of us goes to check on them?” Nate asks. </p><p>Sara shrugs. “Let Zari kill him, he’s immortal. He can take it.”</p><p>“Zari’s not immortal,” Nate replies. </p><p>“Trust me when I say John isn’t going to hurt her,” Sara smirks. </p><p>“He might hurt her a little bit, if she asks nicely,” Charlie chimes in, hiding her grin by taking a long sip of her beer. </p><p>“Oh <em> god </em>,” Ava says under her breath, burying her face in her hands. </p><p>Nate opens another beer. </p>
<hr/><p>John is tracing slow, gentle circles against her hip with his fingertips. His coat long forgotten on the floor in favor of sharing body heat. </p><p>“That feels nice,” Zari sighs sleepily, pulling his other arm closer around her so she can press her hand against his, lacing their fingers together. </p><p>She leans back against his chest to look up at him. His eyes are closed, his lips parted slightly. He looks almost <em> peaceful </em> and that makes her heart swell in her chest, but she tamps it down. Zari doesn’t want to give herself any ideas about where this is going. </p><p>They’re just two people sharing a moment in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. After everything they’ve said to each other tonight, she knows exactly where they stand. </p><p>She turns away from him, resituating until her back is pressed flush against his chest. The warmth of his body seeping into her skin. </p><p>He sighs into her hair, pressing a kiss to the spot just below her ear. He moves the hand against her hip, tracing his fingers up her side to rest below her breasts and hold her against him. </p><p>John holds her for a long time, burying his face in her shoulder and breathing her in. He presses soft kisses to her shoulder and there’s something so sweet and reverent about it, it makes her heart ache. </p><p>“John,” she says his name softly, releasing his hand and turning in his grasp to cup his cheek and force him to look at her. “Did you mean what you said?” she asks. She has to know this now. Zari can’t keep letting him touch her like this, <em> love </em> her like this, without knowing. </p><p>John studies her face for a long time, something so undeniably sad in his gaze. He looks away and there’s a split second where she thinks he might deny everything or brush her off, but he speaks, his voice soft and hoarse, “No. I didn’t. Not any of it.”</p><p>“Then why say it?” Zari asks. She needs to know why he would want to hurt her so deeply. </p><p>He raises his gaze back to hers. “I wanted someone to hurt as bad as I do.”</p><p>Zari closes her eyes, a few tears slipping down her cheek completely unbidden. </p><p>John wipes them away, letting his hand linger against her cheek. “I’m sorry,” he says.</p><p>“I know,” she whispers back, a tense silence settling between them. More tears slip down her cheeks, catching on John’s fingertips.  </p><p>“John?” she says again, finally breaking the heavy silence that’s settled between them. </p><p>“Yeah?” he asks.</p><p>“I’m not apologizing for saying you have a savior complex,” Zari whispers. </p><p>John laughs, his whole body shaking against hers. He buries his face in her hair. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”</p><p>She cups his face in her hands. She kisses him softly, gently and he smiles against her lips, clutching her against him. </p><p>John traces his fingertips down her back, touching every inch of her skin that he can reach. He cups her ass and grips her thigh, pulling her leg over his as he rolls over on top of her. </p><p>Zari breaks their kiss and grins up at him. </p><p>“Again?” she asks. </p><p>“Well, we’ve got nowt else to do, luv,” he answers, kissing her again. </p><p>She sighs into the kiss, smoothing her hands over his shoulders. Zari catches the collar of his shirt and pushes it down and off, letting it fall onto the couch behind them. She traces her fingertips down his chest to his hips, making sure to brush every single one of his tattoos, relishing in how his skin feels different there. </p><p>John shivers under her touch, reaching beneath her to unhook the clasps of her bra and pull it off, tossing it onto the floor next to the couch. He pulls back, kneeling between her legs to take in the full expanse of her naked body. </p><p>He takes his time, drinking in every inch of her, like he’s never seen something so beautiful before.</p><p>She doesn’t shy away from his gaze, she lets him look, lets him see her for the first time. Zari relishes in the way his eyes worship her skin. </p><p>John leans forward, kissing her jaw, her throat, her chest. He lingers on her breasts, touching her nipples with the pads of his fingertips, teasing them until they’re so hard it almost hurts. </p><p>Zari is a mess beneath his touch. She’s biting her own wrist to keep from making too much noise. Her hips buck up against him, but he keeps his body just out of reach. It’s such exquisite torture. </p><p>He sucks one of her nipples into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue and she releases the skin of her wrist with a gasp. </p><p>She buries her fingers in his hair. “<em> Please </em>,” she begs. </p><p>John stops his ministrations, looking up at her with a curious expression. </p><p>“<em> Please </em> ,” she says again, spreading her legs a little wider. “ <em> I need you </em>.” </p><p>He leans over the side of the couch and wordlessly plucks another condom out of the pocket of his coat. </p><p>Zari watches in silence while he grips himself in his hand, stroking himself gently. He’s not quite hard enough yet.</p><p>“Beg me again,” he whispers. </p><p>Zari looks at him, everything else falling away but the look of pure, unadulterated adoration on his face. “<em> Please, John </em>,” she pleads. </p><p>He moans gently, taking a deep breath. </p><p>“<em> Please </em>,” she whispers, watching him roll the condom down over his cock with a soft smile on her lips. </p><p>John grips her hips and pulls her to him, easing himself inside of her. </p><p>This time, she doesn’t hold back the long, low moan that escapes her lips. The rest of the team be damned. </p><p>“Look at you,” John whispers, stretching himself over her as he begins a slow, unhurried pace. “Absolutely bloody gorgeous.”</p><p>Zari’s mouth goes dry and she looks up at him, eyes shining. He’s probably just babbling—he definitely seems like he’d be the chatty type during sex—so it probably doesn’t mean anything. But it makes her feel <em> seen </em>. </p><p>She traces her fingernails up and down his sides while he fucks her, moving her hips against his in time with every thrust.</p><p>He goes slow, peppering kisses over her skin. He presses his face between her breasts, kissing her sternum, then down over her belly and back up again. </p><p>Zari cradles his face in her hands when he kisses her. Her head spins, dizzy and love drunk beneath his kiss. This time feels so much different than the first one. Like he’s letting her in, like he is fully capable and willing to love her. </p><p>A part of her wants to let him in too. To show him she’s willing, she’s capable, but she doesn’t. She holds her affection for him close to her chest. It’s safer that way. For both of them. </p>
<hr/><p>It’s been well over an hour since John and Zari both disappeared into the back room of the pub. The only indication that they’re even still alive is the occasional soft murmurings of voices. It’s hard to tell what’s being said, not that she wants to know, not really. </p><p>Considering both Sara and Charlie seem to believe the two of them disappeared to have sex. And honestly, Ava would really rather not picture Constantine naked and in the throws of passion. It’s hard enough knowing that he and Sara hooked up once.</p><p>So, she imagines they’re just talking. John’s been known to be good at that from time to time. Talking people off a ledge. </p><p>Then, she hears it. <em> Everyone hears it </em>. A long, low moan of pleasure from Zari. </p><p>Ava takes a breath and closes her eyes, shivering in disgust. She’ll never be able to get this out of her head now.</p>
<hr/><p>John kisses her lazily, his arm slung over her waist. Their naked bodies are pressed close, the two of them huddled beneath his coat for warmth. </p><p>It has to have been at least an hour by now. If not several hours. </p><p>“We should go back,” Zari says. Her lips are starting to ache from kissing, not that she minds, per se. John’s an excellent kisser, but at this point her lips are going to be hopelessly puffy and reddened. </p><p>John sighs, pulling her closer against him so he can bury his face in her hair. “We’ve got time yet,” he answers. “If they need us, they’ll call us.”</p><p>Zari hums thoughtfully. “We have to go back eventually,” she says. </p><p>“Eventually is not right this second,” John argues. </p><p>“How much longer do you think it’ll take the time courier to charge?” Zari asks. </p><p>John leans away from her and sighs. “I dunno,” he answers, giving her a tense, sad smile. “Let’s enjoy these last moments while we can, eh?” </p><p>Zari frowns, tucking her head under his chin and pressing her face into his chest. Being with John is somewhat comforting. He can get under her skin, of course, but he’s also <em> good for her </em> in ways she never expected. It’s just...now that she’s done this, she can’t shake the guilt that she feels over Behrad. </p><p>He’s still gone and here she is, doing <em> this </em> during the zombie apocalypse. </p><p>Of course, she knows Behrad would want her to find any happiness she can while she has it. He was always telling her she needed to live in the moment and experience things as they happen instead of getting so caught up in planning ahead. </p><p>This entire thing with John was her doing <em> exactly </em> that. There was no future for them past this moment. Once they left this room, went back to the Waverider, and she got her brother back, this would all be over. She and John don’t exist out of this singular moment in time. </p><p>She wraps her arms around him and hugs him against her. If these are going to be their last moments together before everything changes, she should savor it. It’s not very often she feels a kinship like this with another person.</p><p>John may be an asshole, but he sees her for who she is and he’s not afraid to call her out for what she’s not. Part of her hates that about him, but another part of her thinks she might need it sometimes. </p><p>A little voice inside her head, reminding her that she can be <em> so much more </em> than she is.</p><p>“John?” she asks, her voice slightly muffled by his chest. </p><p>“Yeah, luv?” he answers. </p><p>“Thank you,” she says.</p><p>He chuckles, pressing a kiss to her hair. “Anytime.”</p>
<hr/><p>Charlie stands behind the bar, grabbing the team another round of beers. She’s managed to also find a few bags of crisps and a can of yams which she brings back to the table too. It’s been a long time since any of them have eaten.</p><p>“I feel like at this point, we should start making bets for how long they’re gonna be back there,” Charlie says, depositing the beer and food onto the table in front of the team. </p><p>It’s been nearly two and a half hours at this point. They had to come up for air sometime. </p><p>“It’s not like it matters,” Ava says from across the room, checking the time courier again. “It’s still not charged. So it’s not like we’re going anywhere.”</p><p>“Well yeah, but might as well have a bit of fun while we can, eh?” Charlie asks. </p><p>“You have an interesting definition of <em> fun </em>,” Nate sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.</p><p>“Y’alright, mate?” Charlie asks, arching an eyebrow at him. </p><p>Nate sighs, reaching to the center of the table to crack open another beer. “I’m fine,” he says with a little shrug. “I’m not actually surprised by any of this.”</p><p>“Neither are we,” Sara says. “And if we’re casting bets, I think they’ll be back out in an hour.”</p><p>“I say they’re back there for an hour and a half, at least,” Nate replies. </p><p>“Two hours,” Charlie chimes in. “Zari needs time to fix her hair. Cos you know John-o’s done a number on it by now.” </p><p>“I can’t believe we’re making bets on this,” Ava sighs. </p><p>“What are we betting?” Mick asks, speaking up for the first time in awhile. Previously he’d been content to share a table with the team and drink in silence.</p><p>“Yams?” Charlie offers, pushing a can of yams to the middle of the table. </p><p>Mick stares at the can for a moment. “Then, no thanks,” he says, leaning back in his chair and setting his feet on the table.</p><p>“C’mon, Mick, where’s your sense of adventure?” Charlie asks. </p><p>“It died,” Mick responds, raising his beer to his mouth and taking a long sip. He doesn’t elaborate.</p>
<hr/><p>Zari doesn’t check her phone. She doesn’t want to know how long they’ve been back there. It could’ve been hours, days, weeks. She’s too wound up in John to know anything outside of him. </p><p>It’s such a selfish thing, to take so much in the middle of what has to be one of the worst days of her life. In fact, she’s sure today only comes second to finding Behrad dead after she left the totem on the rankings of the worst days of her life.</p><p>But this part sucks so much less. She may as well make the most of it. Carpe diem, or whatever. </p><p>Her cheek is pressed to John’s chest, his arm circling her back. He’s snoring softly and she’s been in and out of sleep herself, but she can’t sleep for more than a few minutes at a time. It’s been a struggle to catch any shut eye at all since she started on the ship. Something that’s severely impacting her skincare routine. </p><p>After everything, she does feel a little bit better. Knowing John didn’t mean any of the stupid shit he said to her today, means a lot to her. Of course, she never apologized for any of the things she said to him. </p><p>In her defense, she never said anything that wasn’t true. </p><p>Zari raises her head to look at him. </p><p>His eyes are closed and his face is totally relaxed. He looks peaceful, like he’s enjoying his nap.</p><p>Too bad she’s about to ruin it. Zari climbs atop him, straddling his waist. </p><p>John hums, jerking awake and staring up at her sleepily. He doesn’t look at all surprised by these turn of events. “Haven’t you had enough yet?” He teases, trailing his fingers featherlight over her hips.</p><p>“Not nearly,” Zari replies, leaning across him to grab one of the condoms from his coat pocket. “You can go again, right?”</p><p>John laughs, reaching up to cup her face. “You’re gonna be the death of me, luv.” </p><p>“Good thing you’re immortal, then,” Zari teases. </p><p>“Only for a few more hours,” John reminds her. </p><p>“There’s still time then.” She moves backward, fitting herself between his legs to tease his cock with her tongue. </p><p>John groans and shivers, his hand going to her hair. </p><p>She takes his cock into her mouth slowly, feeling it twitch and harden against her tongue. She traces the underside with her tongue, pulling her head back to suck gently on the tip. </p><p>“<em> Christ, Zari </em>,” John moans, jerking his hips involuntarily. </p><p>Zari hums softly, bobbing her head up and down his cock achingly slow while John squirms and pants beneath her. </p><p>She pulls off of him with a wet pop, replacing her mouth with the condom. He shivers beneath her touch, his whole body trembling. She pinches the tip of the condom and rolls it down over his cock.</p><p>Zari climbs back into his lap, leaning over him to press a soft kiss to his lips before easing herself down on his cock. She sits up straight, pressing her hands against his chest when she begins to move. </p><p>She’s kinder to him this time, setting a slow pace that feels good for both of them. </p><p>Zari doesn’t need to show off this time or put him in his place. This is her way of giving him a gentle good-bye. So when they go back out there to the team and resume their roles, they’ll both have something nice to remember from this one night together. </p><p>She wants to give him one fleeting moment of feeling <em> loved </em>, the same way he did for her.  </p><p>She traces her hands over his chest and down, over his abdomen. Giving him that same moment of reverence, of worship. He’s so lovely beneath her, with his head tilted back and his eyes screwed shut, his hands on her thighs, squeezing her roughly with every roll of her hips. </p><p>There are so many things she wants to say because she knows, somewhere deep down, that, for him, this isn’t just a one time thing. But she has her own life, her own family to worry about. John is nothing more than a happy accident. She can’t deny the attraction between them, it was obvious from the beginning, but she also knows that past this? They’re nothing to each other.</p><p>Any attraction between them is purely physical. They’re too tumultuous, too argumentative for anything softer and she thinks that, above all, that’s what John needs. Someone to be <em> kind </em>. And that’s not something she’s capable of.</p><p>When she feels him tense beneath her, his whole body going rigid, she knows he’s close. Zari presses her fingers to her clit and stills her hips. She moves in short, shallow thrusts against him, her fingers moving deft and quick against her cunt, bringing herself to orgasm first. </p><p>John gasps and shivers when she clenches around him. He grips her hips and raises her just slightly, giving himself room to thrust up into her and chase his own orgasm. </p><p>When she kisses him again before moving to lay by his side, it feels like the last time.</p>
<hr/><p>There’s an hour and fifteen minutes left on the timer on her phone. This is the first time she’s checked it since he came into the room and she’s not sure if she’s surprised or impressed that they wasted nearly three hours in this back room. </p><p>John’s already up and half-dressed now. She had to use the tiny bathroom in the back of the room first to freshen up. It’s lucky they even had a bathroom back here because, if there were any doubt at all what she and John got up to—which she doubts, but she’s going to pretend anyway—her immediately making a beeline for the bathroom in the pub after this would be a dead give away. </p><p>“Let’s try not to make it too obvious that I nearly ripped your hair out,” Zari frets, smoothing John’s hair down as best she can.</p><p>John bats her hands away. “It always looks like that, luv,” he smirks. </p><p>“I distinctly remember it looking a lot less…” she gestures vaguely. “<em> Fucked </em>.” </p><p>“Yeah, well you’re mistaken. Stop fretting over me and worry about you.” He nods pointedly to her current state of undress. </p><p>“If I don’t worry about you, then who will?” Zari grouses. </p><p>John smiles softly at her, cupping her cheek and leaning up to press a soft kiss to the tip of her nose. “I appreciate all the fretting, sweetheart,” he says when he pulls away, “but I can take care of myself.”</p><p>“Suit yourself,” Zari says with a shrug, bending down to gather up all of her clothing. </p><p>She dresses quickly, returning to the bathroom to take extra care in ensuring her appearance was immaculate. Sure, everyone probably—definitely—knew they had sex, but she would be damned if she was going to come out of this room looking anything less than perfect. </p><p>Her hair takes the longest out of anything and she softly curses at herself for putting it into such an elaborate up-do in the first place. When she’d done her hair that morning to match this outfit, it’d been so much easier than it was now, after three rounds of sex and not sleeping for what felt like an entire month. </p><p>She has to braid and unbraid—rebraid?—it at least four times before she’s satisfied. </p><p>“Y’alright in there, luv?” John asks, appearing in the doorway. </p><p>Zari looks over at him, pinning her hair into place. He looks delightfully rumpled in the same way he always does. His tie is loose, his shirt untucked. She’s hit with a sudden wave of fondness for him that she tamps down immediately, burying it beneath politeness. </p><p>She gives him her best Zari Tarazi, multi-million dollar influencer smile and tries to ignore the hurt and confusion that flashes across his expression. After everything they’ve been through, she guesses he expected her to be a little warmer to him. </p><p>Zari doesn’t blame him. “I’m ready,” she says, walking past him and back toward the central part of the pub. “Let’s go see what everyone else is up to.”</p>
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